With
the sole exception of James Bond, no other entertainment
property has lived longer or prospered more than Star Trek.
After 5 television series and 9 feature films (not to mention a
merchandising empire that has taken in more than $3.5 billion) Trek
is as strong as ever, and die-hard fans show no signs of losing
interest in this series that has taken them where no one has gone
before.
With the release of Nemesis, the 10th film and the 4th
to feature the cast of The Next Generation, it seems only
appropriate to beam in the one person most qualified to give it
a well-rounded and informative review . Ladies and gentlemen,
straight from the Starship Enterprise, please welcome Captain
James T. Kirk...
Captain James T. Kirk: Thank you, it's great to be here.
Scott Mantz: Well Captain, I guess the big question is,
what did you think of Nemesis?
Kirk: You know Scott, it didn't do anything for me. I
had my hopes up, but when it comes down to it, Nemesis
badly goes where other, better Trek movies have gone before.
Scott: What about the theory that the even-numbered Trek
films have been amazing while the odd-numbered ones have sucked?
Kirk: To coin the phrase from my former First Officer,
there is no "logical" explanation for it, but it does
seem to be the case.
Scott: So are you telling me that Nemesis breaks
the mold, that this film -- an even numbered film -- doesn't stand
up to the other even-numbered ones?
Kirk: Yes, I'm afraid so.
Scott: What's the problem?
Kirk: Well, let me start off by saying that I never found
The Next Generation crew to be as passionate as the crew
from "The Original Series." When we were starting out
back in the 60's, Star Trek was just a little show that
had a lot to prove, and the only way to do that was by telling
great stories with strong characters. The Next Generation
had its moments, but for the most part, that irresistible spark
was missing, and too many stories fell back on indecipherable
techno-babble.
Scott: Then how do you explain the success of the 8th
film, First Contact?
Kirk: First Contact was an exciting and grand film
that had mainstream appeal. It was more than just a glorified
TV episode for the Trekkers. It was an epic in every sense of
the word, which is more than I can say about Nemesis.
Scott: Well then, Captain...
Kirk: Please, call me Jim.
Scott: Ok, Jim. Before I go further, what's the film about?
Kirk: After hundreds of years of hostilities, the Romulans
are finally ready to talk peace. When the Enterprise is diverted
to their home planet to begin the process, Captain Picard discovers
that their leader is actually from the Romulan sister planet Remus.
Scott: Wow, we've never seen the Remans before.
Kirk: It turns out that this leader, called Shinzon, is
neither Romulan nor Reman, but is in fact a human replica of Picard,
long ago engineered by the Romulans to use as a weapon against
the Federation. The plan was abandoned, but he still grew powerful
enough to become the Romulan leader. It goes without saying that
there's more to Shinzon than meets the eye, and the Enterprise
becomes the Federation's only hope against an interstellar war.
Scott: That sounds pretty exciting! So what's the problem?
Kirk: Well for one thing, this villain, Shinzon, just
isn't very menacing. If anything, he looks like he just stepped
out of the latest James Bond movie.
Scott: How does he compare to the villain from Star
Trek II...what was his name again?
Kirk: Khaaaaan! Khaaaaan!
Scott: Right.
Kirk: He doesn't compare at all. Anyway, after a somewhat
exciting dune buggy sequence on a desert planet where an earlier
model of Data is found, the next 45 minutes chug along at impulse
power. There's some intrigue as Picard confronts his younger clone,
but after that, the film climaxes with a space battle that's just
not very exciting.
Scott: That's a shame.
Kirk: Yes it is, especially since it had so much going
for it. The screenplay was written by John Logan, who won an Oscar
for co-writing Gladiator, and it was directed by Stuart
Baird, who directed high concept potboilers like Executive
Decision and U.S. Marshalls. That should have given
Nemesis a much-needed shot of inspiration, but the end result
is so blatantly derivative of The Wrath of Khan and The
Undiscovered Country, it's not even funny. Without giving
too much away, the film even contains a plot point that's straight
out of Star Trek II, yet the emotional impact doesn't come
anywhere near that earlier, superior film.
Scott: Wow, Jim, I didn't realize you were such a film
buff! What about the cast?
Kirk: Patrick Stewart obviously has a lot to do, and so
does Brent Spiner as Data, since he co-wrote the story. But the
rest of the cast -- Jonathan Frakes as Riker, Michael Dorn as
Worf, LeVar Burton as La Forge, Marina Sirtis as Troi and Gates
McFadden as Dr. Crusher -- barely registered on my sensors. I
know it's hard to give everyone a fair share, but we did alright
with the films based on "The Original Series."
Scott: It sounds like some major changes need to be made
on Star Trek.
Kirk: You're absolutely right. In the 4 years since the
last Star Trek movie came out, the cinematic bar has been
raised with groundbreakers like The Matrix and The Lord
of the Rings. Compared to those films, Star Trek: Nemesis
feels dated, tired and redundant. It's time to shake things up
and take some chances. After all, risk! Risk is our business!
That's what this Starship is all about! That's why we're aboard
her!
Scott: Well, Jim, thank you for your time. I'm sure you
have some strange new worlds to explore.