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 Okay,
this movie should stink. It should be the dog of dogs, the odiferous
equivalent of whatever that furry thing is in the back of your fridge.
But against all the odds it's just a lot of fun, with a bunch of head-cracking,
horses, and arena rock thrown in for good measure.
The story
(such as it is) follows the adventures of young William Thatcher
(Heath Ledger), a peasant squire to Sir Ector. The aging knight
has died mid-way through a tournament, and if he doesn't win the
squires won't eat. William dons the knight's armor and takes his
place. Having won once, he can see no reason why he shouldn't keep
up the charade, though his fellow squires, Roland (Mark Addy) and
Wat (Alan Tudyk) point out that only nobles are supposed to compete,
and William is definitely not noble. Enter Geoffrey Chaucer (Paul
Bettany), an itinerant writer and hopeless gambler, who whips up
some patents of nobility for William, turning him into Sir Ulrich
von Lichtenstein. William begins his climb to the top of the jousting
world, while falling in love with the princess Jocelyn (Shannyn
Sossamon) and earning the enmity of the evil Count Adhemar (Rufus
Sewell).
From the opening
scene in which we see a small jousting arena where the crowd are
stamping, clapping, and singing along to Queen's "We Will Rock You,"
you have ample warning that this is not going to be some pedantically
accurate vision of the middle ages. To say the least. There is almost
nothing even remotely historical in the whole enterprise. The weird
rules of jousting were apparently made up in order to make the sport
more visually arresting (points are scored by breaking lances),
and immediately raise the question that, if these were the rules,
why didn't everyone have lances made out of balsa wood, or something
that would break easily? There's nary a pair of hose to be seen,
as middle ages or not, the male cast all wear what look like well
aged Dockers. And as for knightly behavior, our English hero stays
in France jousting while the Black Prince and Count Adhemar head
to Poitiers to fight…the French! One of the great victories of the
middle ages (right up there with Agincourt), yet our hero blows
it off. Really strange.
But, like
I said: who cares? Just sit back and go with the flow. Heath Ledger
finally gets to carry a whole movie and proves himself more than
capable. He is convincing as William, conveying the passion of the
fighter as well as the timidity of the lover who is not sure his
feelings will be returned. As his friend Roland, Mark Addy (The
Full Monty) brings a down to earth Yorkshire attitude to the
role, acting as a kind of Greek chorus to William's heroics. Alan
Tudyk takes on the role that would have been Tim Roth's ten years
ago while Paul Bettany's Chaucer is a highlight of the film, a Pythonesque
turn that gives us the revered writer as WWF pitch man. A running
gag has Chaucer meeting characters who will later become part of
the Canterbury Tales, though this whizzed right over the heads of
the audience when I saw it. (I'd be willing to guess that most of
them had no idea who Chaucer was, let alone any familiarity with
his work.) Still, it doesn't really matter - if you get the references
fine, if not the story still works. The whole thing operates on
the level of English Christmas Panto.
Laura Fraser
(Titus) is endearing as a young blacksmith who makes William
a special suit of armor, and one gets the feeling there was supposed
to be some kind of subplot involving her and William. I wish there
had been, because the lady that William pursues is played by the
embarrassingly miscast Shannyn Sossamon. I mean, I know that the
pre-Raphaelite look has become something of a cliché in the genre,
and I can understand Brian Helgeland's desire to bring something
new to it (though one could argue that music and attitude were quite
enough). But Sossamon? While William is gushing about how beautiful
Jocelyn is, the audience is left to look at this very ordinary girl
wearing the worst costumes I have ever seen in my life. Costume
Designer Caroline Harris may have been going for something with
a "hip attitude" (as the production notes imply), but the end result
is comical. And as for the hair! There were groans heard around
the theatre every time Sossamon made an appearance, looking worse
and worse as the story progressed.
In his first
outing since 1999's Payback, writer/director Brian Helgeland
seems to be having a lot of fun, though one is left with the feeling
that story isn't really his strong suit. The majority of his previous
work as a writer has been in adapting novels by other writers (LA
Confidential, Payback, The Postman), and while the action and
dialog click along at a good pace, the actual structure and content
of the story are sadly lacking. Sure, it's supposed to be a simple
old-fashined tale, but if this had been an old Hollywood swashbuckler,
Jocelyn would have turned out to be a viper and our hero would have
realized that the simple blacksmith girl who was there helping him
was the one who truly loved him. But no, even that kind of fairy
tale complication is too much for A Knight's Tale, where
there are no suprises, other than the soundtrack.
Still, let's
face it, you're not there for the love story. (Although it was supposedly
"inspired" by the Knight's Tale from the Canterbury Tales, the only
thing the two have in common is two words of their titles.) No,
you're there for the jousting and the sword fights. And while there
aren't nearly enough sword fights, the jousting is great fun, with
pounding hooves, splintering lances and thundering music.
So, what the
heck. It's a summer movie. Check your brain at the door and have
fun!
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