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The quality
of the entries to the first The Mediadrome poetry competition was
very high. Some of the poems had been published before, but that
was OK, because the rules did not require only unpublished work
to be submitted.
All of the
entries were free verse; there was no use of traditional forms,
no metrical regularity, no syllable counts, no deliberate alliteration,
no rhymes.
This can make
a judge's job more difficult, since there are no objective landmarks;
but really all poetry judging has a high subjective content. I believe,
however, that one can use some more-or-less objective criteria.
I have a preference for the flow of the language; I like to feel
after a few readings that, yes, I am reading a poem and not a prose
piece with arbitrary separations. I enjoy the feeling that words
have been chosen carefully - the "Search
for the Right Word"! I like poems to deal with issues that have
a wide relevance - not exactly universal truths, but more general
than something that is really of importance to the poet alone. I
would like to think that the poem would read well and have a message
in a hundred years - even if the message may have changed a little
in the time!
I like being
surprised - a way of expressing something that I have never thought
of, or seen elsewhere, so long as its novelty is not an interruption
to the poetic flow, but enhances it.
I find I have
to read poems over and over again, and go over them in my mind.
Are there infelicities, or have I just not got my reading right?
And, of course,
I may have missed it; or it has not spoken to me. And for that I
apologize to the poets I have not selected.
Two poets
submitted several works which I thought showed excellent craftsmanship,
and selecting which of these should win first place, and which of
their poems should be recognized, was a close-run thing. Eventually
I selected Nigel Walker's Marooned
(for Rebecca). This poem is concerned with a father's recognition
of his obligations to guide his young daughter through the early
stages of her life, but understanding that eventually she will leave
to begin her own independent way. I really liked the word "berthed"
in:
comfortable as you were
berthed in your mother's waters.
This double (sound)
meaning links so well with the imagery of the poem. I also liked the
thought in the words:
…………………. My map is worn
but I will help you draw your own.
And, finally,
the closing:
One day you'll run along this beach
to tell me you have found a boat
just big enough for one, lodged in a bay.
Are there flaws?
I have no real text criticisms, although perhaps I lose a little momentum
in the penultimate stanza. In concept, I suppose the fact that the
girl's mother is mentioned only in the line I have quoted above raised
a slightly disturbing question in my mind. However, I think one must
understand that the poet is recognizing his own obligations to his
daughter, not discussing the wider aspects of parenting, which would
be a very different poem!
The second
place goes to Michael Pollick for his poem Makebelieve
Ballroom. This presents a really novel scenario - I was
reminded of some of the visual imagery in the Strictly Ballroom
movie, for example in the lines:
and you were all fierce reds
and polished whites,
clapping and surging with
the pulses of Dorsey,
I was also impressed
by the poet's use of structural elements: this stanza, for example,
has all the lines (apart from the second) with six syllables, and
this device is used elsewhere in the poem when the image of the long-ago
dancing is evoked. The "pulses" of Dorsey are contrasted with the
"promises" of Miller. The use of repetitions: "eight to the bar" is
repeated in the second stanza, and "only a paper moon" is repeated
thrice in the third.
I also liked
the opening and closing images:
I shall consider you carefully,
and know that we were gods once.
And:
you and I were spooning,
alone and invincible,
in the dust of our
make-believe ballroom.
"We were gods
once" "Alone and invincible". Perfect.
Honorable
mentions: Nigel Walker for Caveat:
a nice short poem with an internal device which I really liked;
The apparent idea is warning a girl that if she should inadvertently
touch him, and then smile, he would need to be warned (caveat) that
it did not mean anything; but the whole thing is introduced with
the remark:
……I have no idea why
this should ever be,
This increases
greatly the complexity of what otherwise would be merely a nice little
poem. I also liked the use of the term "juggernaut moon"! Worthy of
Johnny Mercer!
Scott Neumyer
for Love: this
is also a short poem about seeing the word "love" written on a wall
by a graffiti artist, and how it meant something special in that
instant. I like the use of language in describing the inscription:
cursive. languid and
swirling, like the curls
of your eyelashes.
And, finally,
Lee Rodgers, for Void.
This poet also submitted several poems, and these are very ambitious.
Void presents the concept of nothingness. I am not going to
do this poem justice, because in fact it ends by saying:
impossible to express
in so brief a string of mere words
Although the poet
has a good shot at it, by presenting the words, mostly without building
them into sentences. This is an interesting technique, and of course
it makes any attempt to paraphrase what the poem is about next to
impossible. It is, in many ways, the ultimate application of the principle
of searching for the right word, and the words must work without even
the modification implied by sentence structure. There are sentences
and phrases within the poem, but the purpose of these is to present
what is being done.
So there it
is. I think that the editor of The Mediadrome should be pleased
with the success of this venture, and grateful for your sharing
your creations with us. I am sorry not to be able to say something
about the other poems that did not make our short list, but you
all know that the most important critic is the one over your shoulder
in your quiet moments of creation.
Read the first prize winning poem:
Marooned (for Rebecca)
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