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 During
the television season all of the major networks flood the airwaves
seven nights a week in a heated battle for our undivided attention.
With these seemingly endless choices, those of us with actual lives
(or without TiVo) may find it extremely difficult to keep up.
And that's where summer comes in. A time to relax and catch up on
all the shows you've missed. But recently, a new trend has emerged.
If you've missed episodes of NBC's Ed, Providence or perhaps
Fox's exciting first season of 24, with the hope of watching
the repeats over the summer, you're in for a big disappointment.
(Although let me be the first to tell you that by missing any single
episode of Providence, you have done only good.)
The networks have chosen to replace encore broadcasts of certain
serialized shows in favor of fresh "original" summer shows. All
of a sudden, the summer months, once a dumping ground for recycled
shows and meaningless specials, have become saturated with a barrage
of new programming. So why the sudden change?
The answer is simple. The major networks have begun to realize just
how many different choices audiences have these days. No longer
is the battle for attention simply between four major networks (okay,
five with the WB, but there's no way I'm counting UPN). The ever-growing
market share of cable channels along with the constant distractions
of video, video-games, movies and the internet, have all joined
forces to drain the coffers of the once undisputed network stronghold.
The past summer success stories of Who Wants to be a Millionaire
and Survivor have helped executives discover that cheap,
inexpensive reality/game-shows can garner a mass audience, and in
turn help promote the upcoming fall schedule. Now, I admit, I was
a tad enthused by the original Survivor and even Regis held
my attention for a short while (a very short while). But unfortunately,
the shameless clones derived from their success have managed to
set a new low standard for intelligence on network television.
 FOX
has always had an unscrupulous reputation for its unabashed and
mindless experiments. Let's face it, Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire
and Celebrity Boxing certainly aren't going to win any Humanitas
awards. This summer, American Idol: The Search for a Superstar,
a summer import from England in which middle-rate singers compete
against each other for a shot at stardom, has already become a ratings
hit for the network. Singer Paula Abdul co-hosts the show where
viewers can vote on who they wish to advance. Now, I love the arrant
exploitation of youthful dreams as much as the next guy, but I've
found it hard to judge which of these marginally talented wannabe's
actually deserves to be given the chance to shine. The one thing
I have become sure of is that Paula Abdul is not fit to be a judge
of any type of talent.
Over on CBS, much like Michael Myers and Phil Donahue, Big Brother
3 has regrettably returned to lay its claim to the most unwatchable
show on television since Emeril. How millions of viewers
(yes, millions) can tune in to watch the monotonous dull proceedings
of a group of uninteresting characters as they move about a tight,
uncomely set is difficult for me to understand. Hey CBS, I never
thought I'd say this, but Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman is looking
pretty good right about now.
ABC should be given some credit for its scant attempt to create
a few shows not entirely devoid of intellect. Houston Medical
and State V. have both been interesting glimpses into the
medical and judicial professions, respectively. But the unwelcome
return of The Mole 2: The Betrayal (not to mention the lingering
stench of The Bachelor) will likely discount any notion of
the network brass actually possessing an IQ in the double digits.
But in this race to create forgettable TV fare, there is truly only
one network that takes the cake: NBC has managed to create a new
standard for unprincipled programming requiring only the intelligence
of a toddler. It all begins with the incorrigible Fear Factor,
hosted by Joe Rogan, perhaps the one guy in the free world least
deserving of air time. The spawn of this nauseant experiment lamentably
arrived this summer in Dog Eat Dog, an "extreme" stunt game
show hosted by former Baywatch actress Brooke Burns. Upcoming
monstrosities include Meet the Folks, a reality dating show
where parents choose mates for their daughter, and She Spies,
an action V.I.P. rip-off the network is promoting as "bad
girls gone good," starring film actress Natasha Henstridge. (Okay,
Species 2 wasn't a classic, but does she really need to slum
it on something like this?)
 Ironically,
the place to go for summer programming that actually warrants brainpower
is over on cable television, the networks latest emerging competitor.
USA's The Dead Zone, starring Anthony Michael Hall (perhaps
the least expected casting since Rick Shroeder in NYPD Blue)
has quickly become both a critical and ratings hit. Based on the
best-selling book from Stephen King, the show follows Jimmy Smith
(Hall) after he awakes from a six-year coma and discovers he has
attained psychic powers enabling him to see into the future. It
could have easily become trite and cliched, but Hall's honest, dispassionate
portrayal of a man coming to terms with new powers he can't begin
to understand is both fascinating and seductive.
Meanwhile, HBO continues its impressive run of engaging and intelligent
shows with The Wire. Created by David Simon (Homicide),
the show brings us inside the drug wars between the dealers and
the police forces on the streets of Baltimore. It's a revealing,
painful look at a grim reality, and unlike the stereotypical nature
of most network cop shows, Simon uses an understated, deliberate
method built on strong characters instead of overblown plot cliches.
With the new season of the raunchy and hilarious Sex and the
City arriving soon, HBO has smoothly managed to buck the dire
network trend of half-witted, incompetent entertainment.
So what is the discerning television viewer to do? With the exception
of a few cable programs, the majority of the summer television landscape
seems devoid of any semblance of originality or intellect. Even
watching repeats of last season's programs can be quite depressing.
(ABC is running a double dose of According to Jim each week!)
It seems the only real solution is to do exactly what the networks
fear most. Go rent a video, play a video-game, see a movie or surf
the internet. (Or for those true daredevils, may I suggest a simple
walk outside?) Perhaps if nobody tuned in to watch grown men and
woman playing strip-golf, the networks would be more inclined to
create shows actually worth your valuable time. Until then, I'm
going to patiently wait for the new fall schedule. I hear The
Bachelor II is coming.
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