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 You
shall now receive (my deare wife) my last words in these last lines.
My love I send you that you may keep it when I am dead, and my councell
that you may remember it when I am no more. I would not by my will
present you with sorrowes (dear Besse) let them go to the grave
with me and be buried in the dust. And seeing that it is not Gods
will that I should see you any more in this life, beare it patiently,
and with a heart like thy selfe.
First, I send you all the thankes which my heart can conceive,
or my words can rehearse for your many travailes, and care taken
for me, which though they have not taken effect as you wished,
yet my debt to you is not the lesse: but I pay it I never shall
in this world.
Secondly, I beseech
you for the love you beare me living, do not hide your selfe many
dayes, but by your travailes seeke to helpe your miserable fortunes
and the right of your poor childe. Thy mourning cannot availe
me, I am but dust.
Thirdly, you shall
understand, that my land was conveyed bona fide to my childe;
the writings were drawne at midsumer was twelve months, my honest
cosen Brett can testify so much, and Dolberry too, can remember
somewhat therein. And I trust my blood will quench their malice
that have cruelly murthered me: and that they will not seek also
to kill thee and thine with extreme poverty.
To what friend to direct
thee I know not, for all mine have left me in the true time of
tryall. And I perceive that my death was determined from the first
day. Most sorry I am God knowes that being thus surprised with
death I can leave you in no better estate. God is my witnesse
I meant you all my office of wines or all that I could have purchased
by selling it, halfe of mystuffe, and all my jewels, but some
one for the boy, but God hath prevented all my resolutions. That
great God that ruleth all in all, but if you live free from want,
care for no more, for the rest is but vanity. Love God, and begin
betimes to repose your selfe upon him, have travailed and wearied
your thoughts over all sorts of worldly cogitations, you shall
but sit downe by sorrowe in the end.
Teach your son also
to love and feare God while he is yet young, that the feare of
God may grow with him, and then God will be a husband to you,
and a father to him; a husband and a father which cannot be taken
from you.
Baily oweth me 200
pounds, and Adrian Gilbert 600. In Jersey I also have much owing
me besides. The arrearanges of the wines will pay my debts. And
howsoever you do, solues sake, pay all poore men. When I am gone,
no doubt you shall be sought for my many, for the world thinkes
that I was very rich. But take heed of the pretences of men, and
their affections, for they last not but in honest and worthy men,
and no greater misery can befall you in this life, than to become
a prey, and afterwards to be despised. I spoke not this (God knowes)
to dissuade you from marriage, for it will be best for you, both
in respect of the world and of God. As for me, I am no more yours,
nor you mine, death hath cut us asunder: and God hath divided
me from the world, and your from me.
Remember your poor
childe for his father's sake, who chose you, and loved you in
his happiest times. Get those letters (if it be possible) which
I write to the Lords, wherein I sued for my life: God is my witnesse
it was for you and yours that I desired life, but it is true that
I disdained my self for begging of it: for know it (my deare wife)
that your son is the son of a true man, and one who in his owne
respect despiseth death and all his misshapen & ugly formes.
I cannot write much,
God he knows how hardly I steale time while others sleep, and
it is also time that I should separate my thoughts from the world.
Begg my dead body which living was denied thee; and either lay
it at Sherburne (and if the land continue) or in Exeter-Church,
by my Father and Mother; I can say no more, time and death call
me away.
The everlasting God,
powerfull, infinite, and omnipotent God, That Almighty God, who
is goodnesse it selfe, the true life and true light keep thee
and thine: have mercy on me, and teach me to forgive my persecutors
and false accusers, and send us to meet in his glorious Kingdome.
My deare wife farewell. Blesse my poore boy. Pray for me, and
let my good God hold you both in his arms.
Written with the dying
hand of sometimes thy Husband, but now alasse overthrowne.
Yours that was, but now not my own.
Walter Rawleigh
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