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My dear Friend,
I know of no
Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention;
and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage
is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore
the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness.
Your Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not
well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by
postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison
with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It
is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being.
Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he,
her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are
more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly
the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete
Animal. He resembles the odd half of a Pair of Scissars. If you
get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with
her good Oeconomy, will be a Fortune sufficient.
But if you
will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with
the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all
your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call
this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
1. Because
as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better
stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and
more lastingly agreable.
2. Because
when Women cease to be handsome, the study to be good. To maintain
their Influence over Men, they supply the Dimunition of Beauty by
the Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do 1000 Services small
and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when
you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly
such thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because
there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be
attended with much Inconvenience.
4. Because
thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting
and Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore
safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs,
if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might
be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take
care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and
prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because
in every animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids
that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: the Face
first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and
Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So
that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is
below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from
a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure
of corporal Enjoyment with an Old Woman is at least equal, and frequently
superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
6. Because
the Sin is less. The debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and
make her for Life unhappy.
7. Because
the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable
may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend
the making an old Woman happy.
8. They are
so grateful!!
Thus much for
my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely
Your affectionate Friend,
Benjamin Franklin.
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