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 Lo,
and behold! Hell hath no fury like a Star Wars fan scorned!
At least, that's what I found out when I posted my less-than-flattering
review of Star
Wars: Episode II--Attack of the Clones, the latest chapter
in George Lucas' multi-billion dollar sci-fi franchise. Now, I've
gotten some negative feedback before, but not like this. Some die-hard
fans were furious that I had the gall to criticize the seemingly
infallible Jedi Master himself, while others felt that I simply
had no right to review the film in the first place.
Well, let's get something straight. I'm a huge Star Wars
fan. I didn't watch each of the movies in the original trilogy more
than 100 times for nothing (which probably explains why I'm still
single). It's just that after being captivated by the epic stories,
colorful characters, imaginative action sequences, and sharp dialogue,
I know what made those films so great, and I know what's missing
from the inferior prequels.
In addition, just because I'm a Star Wars fan, that doesn't
mean that I have to like everything about it. For instance, I'm
also a Paul McCartney fan, but I'll be the first to admit that his
last album didn't do anything for me.
Neither did the first two Star Wars prequels. Though box
office returns would suggest otherwise, I still consider The
Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, to be major
disappointments. That said, I'm still trusting my feeling that George
Lucas has it in him to re-capture the timeless, majestic appeal
of the original trilogy. Here's how...
 1.
Keep it Simple!
The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones were plagued
by too much galactic mumbo-jumbo about taxation, the stuffy Trade
Federation, and some convoluted separatist movement. Ok, maybe I'm
daft, but what did this have to do with the timeless battle between
good and evil and the mystical power of the Force? At least the
original trilogy kept things simple and vibrant by telling us just
two things we needed to know: the Empire was bad, and the Rebellion
was good. That left plenty of room to focus on the actual heart
of the story, which was about "a boy, a girl, and a galaxy."
2.
Less is More!
Just because Lucas can fill the screen with eye-popping special
effects, that doesn't mean that he has to. Talk about CGI overkill,
the last two films were congested with so many computer-generated
visuals, it was hard to know what to look at first. And to be quite
honest, it didn't look all that great to begin with. I'll take the
sharp, detailed models in the original trilogy over the fuzzy CGI
effects in the prequels any day. And for the record, Yoda looked
much better as a puppet in The Empire Strikes Back than he
did as a computer-generated character in Attack of the Clones.
 3.
The Script's the Thing!
In the early 80's documentary "From Star Wars to Jedi: The Making
of a Saga," Lucas remarked that a special effect is just a tool,
and a special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing. Well,
amen to that! With the last two prequels, Lucas was way too focused
on special effects when he should have been focused on telling a
good story, and the result was a weak script with some terrible
dialogue. Perhaps Lucas should have delegated the writing responsibilities
to a more accomplished screenwriter (like Empire's Lawrence
Kasdan) so that he could focus on what he does best--producing the
movie.
4.
Bring Back Irvin Kershner!
Or at least, bring in another director who can keep the material
fresh and invigorating. The last two films felt like they were merely
treading water to introduce the events in the original trilogy,
while many of the key action sequences were totally derivative of
other movies. If nothing else, the older films were filled to the
rim with inspiration and magic. In fact, thanks to director Kershner,
The Empire Strikes Back is widely hailed as the best Star
Wars film because it was so dark, mature, exciting, and inventive.
Sure, things fell apart in Return of the Jedi with the introduction
of those kid-friendly little Ewoks, but director Richard Marquand
still turned in an amazing film in its own right.
 5.
Stay Hungry!
Even though Lucas already had American Graffiti under his
belt when he started working on the first Star Wars movie
back in the mid '70's, he still had a lot to prove. Maybe hanging
out with maverick New Hollywood visionaries like Steven Spielberg,
Francis Ford Coppola, and Martin Scorsese rubbed off on him, but
when he retreated to his palatial Northern California estate to
oversee his booming business empire, he took himself out of the
creative loop. When he got back behind the camera for the first
time in more than 20 years for The Phantom Menace, he seemed
more out of touch than ever with how to direct a movie.
6.
Have fun!
Everybody needs to lighten up--especially the actors, who gave some
of the stiffest performances in motion picture history. I mean,
these are Star Wars movies, for chrissakes! Where's the heart?
Where's the humor? Where's the fun? Where's the passion?
Now, I don't expect Lucas to take my advice. After all, he's repeatedly
gone on the record as saying that he makes movies for himself, and
that he doesn't really care what the fans think (actually, if that's
the case, then how do you explain the limited screen time of the
annoying Jar Jar Binks in Attack of the Clones?).
And ultimately, it doesn't matter what I think either. I just know
why I loved the original trilogy so much, and I know why I continually
go back to watch those movies over and over again. Maybe the third
time's the charm, but I remain hopeful that Star Wars: Episode
III will finally take me back to back to that magical, fun,
and exciting galaxy so far, far away.
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